Relations of Supervision (the Supervisee)

Unequal relationships. Partners treat each other differently. This is one of the most complex types of relationships, in which equality usually does not happen.

To you, as the Supervisor (or controller), the partner seems incomprehensible, or consciously avoids his duties. Often there is a desire to help the Supervisee (or controlled), to teach something. However, the partner does not perceive your advice and requirements, thereby causing bewilderment and even irritation. At the same time, although you criticize your partner, you feel a certain pity for him, believing that he himself is not capable of much.

In this relationship, the controlled suffers more from your criticism and uncompromising. It seems to him that you are dissatisfied and seek to re-educate him, imposing your values.

As soon as the controlled person shows some initiative, expresses a thought or does something, your reproaches immediately fall on him : is it possible?! the Supervisor perceives you as a petty, picky, annoying person who for some reason is indignant all the time. In response, he begins to avoid communicating with a partner or begins to find fault with you in response, argues, tries to give you instructions. However, such attempts usually do not end in anything. the Supervisor, as a rule, is not offended, but continues to "educate" him. For the Supervisee, this relationship is perhaps even more painful than, for example, the relationship of conflict. Although often, the controlled person thinks that you, in general, are a good person, and quibbles can be endured.

Showdowns can escalate into conflict. At the same time, mutual grievances and claims seem unreasonable to partners, and shortcomings - exaggerated. In this relationship, there is an understanding until you show excessive principle, which hurts the Supervisee. At best, partners appreciate the ability of the other to solve a difficult problem for him. Mutual claims and intransigence can destroy relationships.

This relationship is well illustrated by the "mother-naughty child" analogy. This couple is sometimes very soldered. The thing is that in it both feel their social significance: the Supervisor as a guardian-benefactor, without whose care and instructions the partner  will disappear, and the Supervisee - as an object of guardianship, whose value is recognized in this way.  So in order to establish this relationship, you, as the Supervisor, and you need to try to behave humanely and patiently towards the person under control, as the mother treats a naughty child. Otherwise, the relationship will be very burdensome.

In close communication

If the Supervisor and the Supervisee are always sitting in the same room, then it is virtually impossible to demand from the Supervisor that he does something meaningfully, because he becomes completely independent. They have to be together, do some work together, they have a lot of emotionally significant contacts. At the same time, the space of interaction is geographically very limited and they have nowhere to run. In these cases, Relations of Supervision is extremely pronounced. It can be an expedition, a tank crew, a business team or a married couple.

Couple

 Relationships are unfavorable for joint life and family relations (in some ways even more dangerous than conflict, which are dangerous mutually and force partners to maintain a distance), but a normal mode of existence is possible if partners deliberately do not touch each other's weaknesses.

Tips

The Relations of Supervision involves a joint discussion of controversial issues, otherwise the problems driven inside accumulate. When a problem is felt but ignored, this is the first sign of a future outburst of emotions.

If you stop re-educating the controlled and show a tendency to compromise, and the latter does not dig into your shortcomings, this relationship can be stimulating and fruitful. It is only necessary to remember that the Supervisor sets the tone in this relationship , assigning the role of the wingman to the partner. The leader must be humane, but the wingman must not claim to be a leader in order to preserve the relationship.

A Relations of Supervision is one where a person can say, "What a tough person he is! These conditions are difficult, but this does not mean that this person is bad. Yes, it's different; yes, he lives in a different space; yes, it's a complex interaction of types, but in this interaction you participate in exactly the same way as he does.